Sex etiquette

[willrock]

Hey,
So my dilemma is this: I have always used a condom while having sex. All my previous girlfriends have been on birth control yet Im still extremely cautious. a) should I be ? and b) if i were to have sex without a condom how would I finish? I dont exactly want to come out and ask the current girl im dating and seem extremely unexperienced / weird her out...what is the general practice i guess is what im wondering.
thanks

[matrixdn]

if you have doubts wrap it up that's the safest bet. If you are uncomfortable about the whole condom situation imagine what it will be like if you get her pregnant.

[unomike2]

Practicing safe sex is the rule of thumb whenever you are engaging in intercourse with a new lover, especially when you are concerned about putting her in a family way or getting STDs.

General practice would be to continue to use condoms until you are sure that she is on an effective form of birth control and you two had a discussion about continuing or discontinuing the use of them. Most women don't like condoms for varying reasons, at least that has been my experience in past relationships.

As far as finishing (where to ejaculate) goes, that also should be part of the discussion. The natural urge would be to ejaculate inside her since that is part of the procreation process that is built into each one of us. It also has been my experience that most women would perfer a man to cum inside them, but only after the issue has been discussed and she gives you permission to do so. (Some women even though they are on some form of birth control, may still be concerned about becoming pregnant but do not want you to use a condom, but instead pull out and ejaculate your semen on thier stomach or wherever they want you to)

Don't worry about discussing these issues with her. She won't think you are weird or inexperienced. In fact she will think more of you because you are mature enough to discuss these important issues with her.

You need to make these issues part of your general practice with any woman you are planning on becoming intimate with.

[ballarke]

Sticking with the condom is the smartest thing unless you know she does not have anything. You are safe from pregnancy, but birth control doesn't protect against the other stuff.

As for where to cum, ask her. I know it might seem a bit forward, but if she grants permission to fuck without a condom, you should ask her where she wants you to cum, in case it isn't inside her.

[SSBF]

Practicing safe sex is the rule of thumb whenever you are engaging in intercourse with a new lover, especially when you are concerned about putting her in a family way or getting STDs.

General practice would be to continue to use condoms until you are sure that she is on an effective form of birth control and you two had a discussion about continuing or discontinuing the use of them. Most women don't like condoms for varying reasons, at least that has been my experience in past relationships.

As far as finishing (where to ejaculate) goes, that also should be part of the discussion. The natural urge would be to ejaculate inside her since that is part of the procreation process that is built into each one of us. It also has been my experience that most women would perfer a man to cum inside them, but only after the issue has been discussed and she gives you permission to do so. (Some women even though they are on some form of birth control, may still be concerned about becoming pregnant but do not want you to use a condom, but instead pull out and ejaculate your semen on thier stomach or wherever they want you to)

Don't worry about discussing these issues with her. She won't think you are weird or inexperienced. In fact she will think more of you because you are mature enough to discuss these important issues with her.

You need to make these issues part of your general practice with any woman you are planning on becoming intimate with.
Great answer except for one thing. I am not sure most women prefer the man to cum inside of them. Maybe I only speak for myself but there are a few things sexually that are big deals to me and are only performed with someone I love and trust.....one is swallowing.....one is letting him cum inside of me...and the last one is spending the night.

[SSBF]

Sorry toad.....

[unomike2]

Great answer except for one thing. I am not sure most women prefer the man to cum inside of them. Maybe I only speak for myself but there are a few things sexually that are big deals to me and are only performed with someone I love and trust.....one is swallowing.....one is letting him cum inside of me...and the last one is spending the night.

I was drawing from my own personal experiences I've had in past relationships when I made that statement. In this case, the word "most" does not mean "all". And I was well aware of how I worded the statement you are referring to when I wrote it. And I understand your concerns about the word "most". And I thought the word's meaning here would be correctly understood by the reader in the context in which it was written.

In regards to my past experiences, I've had only one woman* who did not enjoy or want a man to cum inside her and that was because she was not on Birth Control and she never wanted children. Even with a condom in place, she did not want to take a chance of it breaking and possibly getting pregnant, and that is understandable. All the other women I've had relations with actually enjoyed having a man ejaculate inside them. In 3/4 of these past relationships, the women were on some form of birth control, while the other 1/4 had been surgically sterilized to prevent pregnancy.

And in my original statement to willrock concerning his issues, Several times I clearly indicated to him that I was drawing upon my past experiences on which I based my answers. And the advice to discuss his concerns with his girlfriend is valid considering it only makes common sense to do so and it would be the right thing to do. In any relationship I've had, and in my marriage, one of the things I have learned is not to assume, but ask and discuss things with the woman and play by the rules agreed upon.

As a personal rule for me, whenever I post a statement of advice, I try to communicate as clearly as possible any thoughts and advice I give. And when I am writing, I don't type out a response in just a few minutes. A lot of thought and time goes into how I word my statements, and I read, edit, and re-read, and edit some more if it is necessary to ensure that my statement(s) are as clear and correct as possible. I might not be 100% successful, but I do try.

And lastly, don't be offended by this response to your quote. I just felt a portion of my advice to willrock was not understood as I intended it to be. Sometime one word can mean something else to another person and I felt the need to clarify my statements further. - Unomike2

* This one woman did not have a desire for either children or sex. I was lucky to get sex from her every few months when she did have a rare moment of a sexual urge. And then when she had her own orgasm, she would leave the room and I would have to finish my own orgasm without her assistance. Needless to say, this relationship only lasted 8 months before I came to the conclusion she would never have a normal sex-drive despite her repeated assurances she would seek medical help in finding the root cause for her lack of desire and correcting it. She made no effort, so I left.

[willrock]

Thanks alot all...Ive got no problem using a condom, and most likely will continue to do so. I just didn't really know how to handle this one without some advice of others.

[SSBF]

I was drawing from my own personal experiences I've had in past relationships when I made that statement. In this case, the word "most" does not mean "all". And I was well aware of how I worded the statement you are referring to when I wrote it. And I understand your concerns about the word "most". And I thought the word's meaning here would be correctly understood by the reader in the context in which it was written.

In regards to my past experiences, I've had only one woman* who did not enjoy or want a man to cum inside her and that was because she was not on Birth Control and she never wanted children. Even with a condom in place, she did not want to take a chance of it breaking and possibly getting pregnant, and that is understandable. All the other women I've had relations with actually enjoyed having a man ejaculate inside them. In 3/4 of these past relationships, the women were on some form of birth control, while the other 1/4 had been surgically sterilized to prevent pregnancy.

And in my original statement to willrock concerning his issues, Several times I clearly indicated to him that I was drawing upon my past experiences on which I based my answers. And the advice to discuss his concerns with his girlfriend is valid considering it only makes common sense to do so and it would be the right thing to do. In any relationship I've had, and in my marriage, one of the things I have learned is not to assume, but ask and discuss things with the woman and play by the rules agreed upon.

As a personal rule for me, whenever I post a statement of advice, I try to communicate as clearly as possible any thoughts and advice I give. And when I am writing, I don't type out a response in just a few minutes. A lot of thought and time goes into how I word my statements, and I read, edit, and re-read, and edit some more if it is necessary to ensure that my statement(s) are as clear and correct as possible. I might not be 100% successful, but I do try.

And lastly, don't be offended by this response to your quote. I just felt a portion of my advice to willrock was not understood as I intended it to be. Sometime one word can mean something else to another person and I felt the need to clarify my statements further. - Unomike2

* This one woman did not have a desire for either children or sex. I was lucky to get sex from her every few months when she did have a rare moment of a sexual urge. And then when she had her own orgasm, she would leave the room and I would have to finish my own orgasm without her assistance. Needless to say, this relationship only lasted 8 months before I came to the conclusion she would never have a normal sex-drive despite her repeated assurances she would seek medical help in finding the root cause for her lack of desire and correcting it. She made no effort, so I left.
No offense taken hun. I just always have to add my 2 cents worth! As always, you rock!